


always been you

by imaginesandideas



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Professors, F/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Torture, Slow Build, Slow Burn, post-apocalypse au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:15:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22483978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginesandideas/pseuds/imaginesandideas
Summary: ”Um, Mr Worthington? Professor?” the kid stares at him wide-eyed, not sure what caused the sudden freeze of the man in front of him.Warren blinks a few times, his blue eyes shining underneath the black frame of his glasses and he gazes down to meet puzzled expression of his student’s face.“I’m sorry, I just- I think I got lost for a second.” friendly smile graces Warren’s features as the corners of his lips lift ever so slightly at the student.It’s like he’s that kid all over again, so lost. Like his mind got thrown into a deep pond of memories he thought he’s lost. Or maybe, he only just found them.
Relationships: Warren Worthington III & Reader, Warren Worthington III/Reader, Warren Worthington III/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is an introduction to my Professor!Warren AU series.  
> It's the first installment of the flashback chapters. Since I've decided to introduce the concept of Warren becoming a professor I wanted to make it a slow, build-up story. It's the kind of scenario I've been always dreaming of creating. The good ending we never really got for Warren.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So there he was, crawling like pathetic, incomplete creature in search of someone who could put him back together. Someone who’d glue his feathers back so he could fly up to the sun one last time before crashing into the ocean. Because that’s what he was made for, right?

He was stumbling, tripping over his own feet. It felt as if darkness could swallow him whole, and in a way it did exactly that, leaving mere marionette behind. Emptied of purpose, aims, dreams. Whenever he’d roam he couldn’t stay, not for too long. Being a mutant was enough of an issue in a world full of hatred and prejudice. Who’d trust a freak with broken blades coming out of his back, all bruised and bloody. 

“ _Fuck_.” Warren hissed leaning against a nearby tree. 

His head was pounding, heaven knows why. Maybe it was the shitty weather, maybe alcohol, maybe all these nightmares he’s been having whenever he tried to close his eyes, maybe all of the above. Anyone else would stay away from the trees with all the lightnings gracing the sky, but really, what else could he possibly lose. If he died then, nobody would even look for him, bury him, hell, nobody would even miss him. His parents probably thought he’s been dead for years anyway so what’s the difference. He sniffled, gaze mindlessly shifting between wet grass of the field and forest. In these circumstances it seemed like an old habit. Either way he wouldn’t be even able to protect himself if someone was actually after him, but having control over his surroundings was giving him some sort of peace. Sounds funny after all he’s been through.

_Peace_ \- he wondered closing his eyes in a selfish attempt to calm down. Selfish because he shouldn’t be allowed rest for the rest of his life. That’s what his brain would tell him. Everyday, every minute. For all the damage he’s done, for all the blood he’s shed, all the pain he’s caused. If there’s still justice anywhere in this world then it’s right here, under this tree in the middle of the storm, with nowhere else to hide. 

It’s been minutes until he eventually passed out, remaining blades of his wings serving as additional shield. It was a loud rumble of thunder nearby that woke him. It came flashing in front of his eyes with battlefield flashbacks and ache in his back. He inhaled sharply, hands grasping at the damp soil beneath him. 

“ _It’s just rain. Just some fucking rain._ ” He chuckled to himself. His heart rate seemed to slow down at the thought. Watery droplets run down his forehead and cheeks, nearing the corners of his mouth. He could taste his own blood, as well as salt and dirt sliding off his skin. Of course he wasn’t expecting blooming flowers on the way, but it’s been weeks since he’s had a good look at himself in the mirror and taken actual shower rather than splash water onto his sore limbs. Long months of hauling from town to town has began to bother him some time ago, mainly because now, after Apocalypse was defeated, his path was gone. Some could say he’s lost his way, but that happened long before Germany, long before all of that gore and pain.

He could still recall his mother’s voice telling him to “ _find the right way_ ” but reality where mutants are either killed or exploited struck him to the core soon after, and ever since then he just stopped looking. Why seeking the light when it doesn’t truly exist? So he started drowning in hoodlums, shady places and people who never really cared, never really stayed. Alcohol did. Only always evaporated too quickly.

So there he was, crawling like pathetic, incomplete creature in search of someone who could put him back together. Someone who’d glue his feathers back so he could fly up to the sun one last time before crashing into the ocean. Because that’s what he was made for, right?

* * *

The loud knocking at the front door alerted everyone in the mansion. The lights were out, only few teachers awake in the kitchen and some in their rooms, most likely preparing for the next day. 

Naturally if someone dared to come knocking at this hour, it had to be something serious. Students who have woken up despite elders asking them to stay in their dorms and teachers gathered on standby. Something like this would happen so rarely that missing it would be like a crime. The thrill of uncertainty. Maybe there was some sort of danger creeping behind that door. Something to be afraid of, or something to be dwelling on during lunches or classes for the next few days, maybe even weeks. Something foreign, unknown.

Because never in the history of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters a young mutant whose sordid past was more than known to those residing at the mansion, had appeared at its door in the middle of the night with severe serious wounds, bloodied and dirty despite the pouring rain outside. Never, until it happened, that night.

He was staggering and mumbling something that sounded like an apology, when deeply shocked Hank McCoy and Peter Maximoff called in to help, carried unconscious mutant to the infirmary, away from curious and concerned looks.

“ _Go back to your dorms. There’s nothing to look at.”_ The most respected voice echoed soothingly in the hallways as four men passed another set of open and half-open doors. “ _Everything is under control, you can go back to sleep._ ” 

Students moved out of their way at an instant, some willingly, some encouraged by the Professor and his powers of persuasion, to put it mildly. 

The double door leading to the lab and infirmary closed with a thud.

“ _We should have just left him there! What the hell is he even doing here?! He was supposed to be dead!_ ” Hank growled. There was no doubt that their guest was heavy. Even more so the wings attached to his back themselves. All that was shocking enough, and now they we’re forced to take care of the passed out mutant.

Professor caught up with the men, but the hallways seemed to go on forever with the unconscious guy hanging off their backs. Maximoff was silent the entire way, only occasionally grunted from exhaustion. McCoy however was clearly distraught, agitated even. 

“ _He shouldn’t even be here!_ ”

“ _Hank, please. I’m sure there’s a reason for him coming here right now_.”

“ _And even more reasons to leave him at the gate._ ”

“ _Hank! For heaven’s sake, just let him explain everything once he’s more lucid._ ”

The mattress saged under the weight of winged mutant and both bearers moaned loudly stretching their limbs. The room was almost completely dark until Professor turned on the lamp on nightstand. Light shone down on the laying mutant and the look itself was a horror show. Though Xavier didn’t even flinch, Peter did.

“ _Is he even alive?_ ”

Professor reached for the wrist of the mutant. His skin felt piercingly cold, but there was still a weak pulse.

“ _Barely. We need to warm him up._ ” He exclaimed looking at disheartened McCoy. The taller man sighed loudly. 

“ _Okay, but I don’t take responsibility for him and whatever he’s up to._ ”

“ _I do. Now go and bring medical kit.”_ Hank halfheartedly nodded. Professor turned to Maximoff which immediately caught his attention. _“We’ll also need some towels, blankets and clean clothes_.”

“ _Supply closet?_ ”

“ _Precisely._ ”

* * *

It all felt so natural, so casual. As if time did not exist and his whole existence has been this way forever. Freedom. All of sudden he was back in the air, flying as high as ever. He could practically feel mist of rain on his face as he was nearing the clouds. His wings were so lightweight now, like he wasn’t even flying, just floating. He really missed the feel of wind combing through his feathers, messing up hair, pushing at his chest. 

But when did this all become so real? He couldn’t even recall the last few minutes, so where precisely did time go?

“ _Angel?_ ” Eyes shot open and in a matter of seconds he was back on the ground. Trapped as he’d probably say, but the pounding in his head wouldn’t allow him to put the pieces together just yet. There had to be someone else to do it. “That’s how they call you right? You’re okay, don’t freak out! We’re here to help you.”

Muffled, yet in a way irritatingly buzzing voice was coming from his right side. The world was as blurry as reminiscence of past hours, or maybe days, he couldn’t really tell. 

“ _Fuck. Where am I?_ ”

“ _Umm, Xavier’s? School for Gifted Youngsters. Or X-Men headquarters. Whichever you prefer._ ” 

As Warren was slowly regaining his vision, the source of the voice vanished only to come back later with a glass of splooshing water.

“ _Here._ ” Warren sat up and reached for the glass hesitantly. The guy looked familiar, there was definitely something about his hair and witty attitude that one could not miss. Too characteristic to overlook. “ _Professor will be here soon. He’s been waiting for you to wake up for days. We all did actually._ ”

Days. He’s been unconscious for days. And he couldn’t even remember how did he get there in the first place. 

The noise of double door being rapidly pushed open made both their heads turn. Angel suddenly froze. Memories he thought he’d gotten rid of smashed him in the face, like a bucket of icy water. Three pairs of eyes landed on him immediately, one kinder than the other. But only one pair would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

White as a chalkboard he finally realized his primary mistake. One he’ll have to deal with sooner than he’s ever expected. The past caught up with the present, and now it was heading right towards him.


	2. The eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If he hadn’t been lost for words already, he totally was at that moment. Of course he knew those eyes, he’d seen them many times before. But never on himself. A pair of the most beautiful eyes, framed by sleekly lifted lashes with kindness and attention beaming from underneath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter briefly introduces Warren as an adult and digs deeper into the circumstances that led him to the current point. It's the continuation of flashbacks from his youth that will be continued in the upcoming chapters.

_”Um, Mr Worthington? Professor?_ ” the kid stares at him wide-eyed, not sure what caused the sudden freeze of the man in front of him. Warren blinks a few times, his blue eyes shining underneath the black frame of his glasses and he gazes down to meet puzzled expression of his student’s face.

It all fell into focus so suddenly, so unexpectedly.

When was the last time he’d seen you anyway? 5 or 6 years? Maybe even more than that. The chances that you remembered him were slim to none anyway, given the little time you’d spent together before he left the School. Or maybe ... they weren’t?

* * *

What brought him here that night? He couldn’t even recall after all these years. Maybe it was destiny, maybe blind luck. But all these years ago when he landed with a loud thud on Xavier’s polished marble floors, all wet and unconscious, it was probably the best night of his life so far. The most important one for sure.

Cause everything has changed since then. Yes, he had to face the inevitable and clash his past with hope, the future he thought he couldn’t afford. But Xavier has led him the way, he’s showed him the thin line of light and gave him a chance. And for the first time in his life Warren was determined to own it.

Before he fully came back to his old self and the mutant community, he had to go through painful process of retrieving his old wings. After Apocalypse was defeated by X-Men, and therefore Angel was no longer under the effect of his power, his wings began to return to their original form. Much to Warren’s contentment, once he’d realised where cooperation with the superior mutant led him to. The process however was slow and incredibly painful. He was a mess in every sense of the word, and with Xavier’s guidance and McCoy’s wearing patience he was finally able to heal.

Before that though, he kept hiding for some time, sleeping in abandoned barns and houses in the outskirts, occasionally stealing some money or food from unsuspecting such neighbor people, or kids who went too far from their regular after-school routes. But no safe house was safe forever. Sooner or later he had to change the surroundings and look for more secure hideout, while continuously getting through the renewed process of fledgling. He was almost like that young boy many years ago. Lost, embarrassed, forsaken, left out in his pain.

Once he came to the mansion he couldn’t even remember why would he do that in the first place. But with time, and help his memory started to finally put the pieces together.

It was the other one of Apocalypse’s ex-horseman Ororo, along with that blue mutant he remembered from cage fight back in Germany,and then, from the battlefield, who’ve found him and persuaded him to give Xavier a chance to put him back together.

“ _Look at where you are now. How long will it last? Months? Years?_ ” Warren was sitting on a hideous couch he’d found on the street during one of his nightly escapades. The room was dingy, dank, just as the rest of the building, which most likely served as a factory back in the day. There were empty boxes and cans busted all over the place. It didn’t feel like home. More like a detention.

Warren wasn’t necessarily fond of encountering Nightcrawler again. His shoulders and wings were tense as he glared grudgingly at the other mutant, too focused on the bitter taste of revenge creeping behind his back to even listen.

“ _Warren?_ ” Storm stepped forward, regaining his attention. “ _Give yourself a chance. He can help you._ ”

“ _Nobody can._ ”

“ _So help yourself. Do it now before it’s too late. Please._ ”

He didn’t go with them that day. Nor did he change his mind the next day. It took him few more weeks, few more dangerous circumstances to amend his attitude towards the possible prospect.

Maybe it was the fact that he was getting tired of running away. Maybe it were his sore wings that affected his decision. But all in all he’s packed up his petty possessions and left, leaving his past behind in a way. The night he arrived at Xavier’s doorstep, he was so weak they had to carry him to the infirmary. He stayed in some sort of coma for few days. He’s never slept better in his life.

Once he’s gotten acclimated in the mansion and around other mutants, he’d have these long conversations with Professor - about life, his future, what he wanted to do now that his old life was no longer present. Warren wasn’t used to talking. Not much, not at all. Especially not about touchy subjects.

It’s all been moving forward really slowly. He’s never really felt supported by anyone, neither his parents, nor other mutants he’d met on his way of becoming who he was. He had troubles controlling his feelings. The thought of letting go and finally moving forward was utterly terrifying, cause it meant that he had to lose the meticulously crafted mask he’s been keeping on for years. It also meant that he could finally follow his dreams, and maybe that scared him even more.

For half a year, the trauma of what happened kept coming back to him during his sleep, denying him any sort of rest. He stopped counting all the times he’s woken up in the middle of the night, breathless and covered in cold sweat. And since he could rarely sleep after his night panic attacks, he’d often end up sneaking out the mansion to fly around, sit on the roof and watch the moon till the sun began to rise. There were times when he wished he could buy himself enough alcohol to drown in it, but that was out of the question. After drinking he wouldn’t sleep at all, anxiety hitting the deepest spots within his heart. So he tried to avoid it. Ultimately, he decided to stick to the cigarettes, only occasionally reaching for a bottle in moments of withdrawal. Even if that meant side eye from teachers every now and then.

Like infection attacks immune system, Warren was forced to battle hisdemons. His head was often full of doubts, even to the point of planning a way to get out of his new whereabouts and starting life from nothing. Just like he did back home in Long Island.

Xavier on the other hand, out of everyone, saw the wit and potential buried underneath the rough mask Warren chose to wear to protect himself from people. And slowly Warren opened up just enough to absorb and explore the paths of his life he thought he’d burn the bridges to.

He refused to make friends because never really felt like he deserved them, especially among mutants aware of his history. Never feeling like he could be considered interesting, he chose to stay away from the group, only occasionally exchanging few words with Ororo, or the nosy and unfortunately ubiquitous Peter Maximoff. He was the first face Warren’s seen after regaining his consciousness after all. Others either didn’t trust him enough to share their time with him, or felt too intimidated to do so.

Cause it wasn’t very hard to be intimidated by rather handsome, bright-eyed blonde, with wings so big he could be considered an actual angel. He wore them high and with pride, ever since he got them back. The metal ones were too heavy for him to carry. Both physically and mentally. So he was feeling like a brand new person when the last piece of metal fell of his shoulders. It has given him new, indescribable power that he had yet to figure out what to do with.

Encouraged by the professor, he decided to continue his abruptly terminated education. Due to his unsettled background, he was inclined to join younger group, the one he could keep up with, without feeling ashamed by his gaps in basic knowledge. Unsurprisingly for Xavier, he was making a lot of progress, gradually regaining his interest in school topics and also his confidence in that matter.

It was his confidence that led him into thinking that science classes, were going to be suitable for him, since he enjoyed maths as a kid. Unbeknownst to him, Xavier’s right-hand’s lessons weren’t as carefree and painless as he thought. Once on the list, he kept coming to the Friday afternoon class, as if to prove himself that he did not commit a fatal misleading. Situated in a far-back row, he used it as a opportunity to get a closer look at the people he was attending the classes with, occasionally sketching them or other random things that caught his eye. Like McCoy’s gesticulating. Perfect for practicing figures in motion.

“Warren? Hello?” Hank called out from above Warren’s clearly occupied head. The curls on his head bouncing lightly to the rhythm of song in his earpods, the black wire thoughtfully hidden underneath hishoodie. Hank narrowed his brows. Of course he wasn’t even making notes.

“ _Worthington._ ” as if called names, Warren raised his head frowning to meet McCoy’s displeased expression and crossed arms. He never liked his name. Simply hearing it in a slightly different, more demanding tone ignited the fire in his veins. Memories of home coming up at him like daggers in reappearing in his wounds. “ _You’re not paying attention. Again_.”

“ _Fuck._ ” Warren muttered quietly and pulled out the headphones. It was 5th time he was caught on not participating in the class. Embarrassed, he quickly gazed around the room to note that all eyes on were on him, some of them hostile, some just curious. After all he’s never really been active in the students’ group, both during and outside lectures. And he knew that watching someone else get punished was always entertaining.

And then, he caught a glimpse of what he have imagined smart eyes looked like. If he hadn’t been lost for words already, he totally was at that moment. Of course he knew them, he’d seen them many times before. But never on himself. A pair of the most beautiful eyes, framed by sleekly lifted lashes with kindness and attention beaming from underneath.

“ _Are you even here? Hello?_ ” McCoy was utterly fed up at that point and Warren was snapped out of his thoughts for good.

“ _Yes, yes! I’m sorry. I just- I don’t even know. I should probably leave._ ”

“ _Yeah probably. And I should probably thank you for attending my classes_. _I bet it was a... tedious experience._ ” McCoy exclaimed walking backwards to his spot next to the desk. Warren let out an audible sigh and stood up to pick up his belongings. As he shoved his notebook and physics books (which were masquerading as his engagement in the topic), once again he lifted his gaze. But now the lesson was back on its previous track, and nobody dared to look in his direction. _Pathetic_ , he thought of himself.

Throwing gym-like drawstring bag over his shoulder, he slowly headed to the door. He kept his head low, not willing to draw any more attention. The damage was done, and all he could do was make himself as unnoticeable as possible. Good thing the class wasn’t mandatory, but he could already see Xavier’s disappointed look. The doorknob squeaked and Warren bit his lip before nodding a short goodbye in McCoy’s direction. Going backwards, hand resting on the handle to pull the door to a close, he looked up from the floor. McCoy only shook his head with a huff and continued the monologue. Short glance over the people in the class, but nobody dared to give him the slightest bit of attention. Except _you_. The piercingly smart eyes.

The air got stuck in his throat again, only now he came back to his senses much sooner. That is, after you smiled sincerely at him while putting a strand of hair behind your ear. Such a gentle yet casual gesture. He felt his neck turn redbrick shade of red almost immediately, and he swore he heard a loud bob of his own adam’s apple. The door slammed closed and for the 3rd time in less than 5 minutes, doctor McCoy couldn’t help the frustrated roll of his eyes.

That day Angel decided, that maybe this tiny moment was worth the agony of quantum physics.

* * *

_“I’m sorry, I just- I think I got lost for a second._ ” friendly smile graces Warren’s features as the corners of his lips lift ever so slightly at the student.

It’s like he’s that kid all over again, so lost. Like his mind got thrown into a deep pond of memories he thought he’s lost. Or maybe, he only just found them.


	3. The voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow the most perceptive among his friends, yet it took Peter a minute, and 3 cans of rapidly drunken grape soda, to realize why Warren disappeared for much longer than he had is intended to. And why the hell was he blushing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third installment of flashbacks, where Warren finally cracks his shell a bit. There's a few more coming, but I can promise - it's all worth it. :)

Weeks, months were slowly passing by in the safety of Xavier’s mansion. Not that Warren complained though, he’s missed not having to run, the silence. But it took him some time until he’s finally found a place for himself in this newfound home.  
At some point Warren started spending more time in the library than in group classes, reading, going through old materials - some of them very far from topics students were meant to pass. At first, he kept coming back to avoid all the curious looks he’d get in the hallways or at the park. Only freaks spend their afternoons between the book shelves right? But in fact he preferred the peace and quiet the library always provided, and in fact, he always felt like the lectures were lacking in knowledge he desperately sought for.

That way, after he has finally loosened enough to befriend something else than books, he’s found his kind of company, consisting of school’s mightiest outcasts and truants, like Peter Maximoff himself. From brief, and rather superficial talks they shared, Warren found out that he only resided in the mansion every once in a while “killing time” as he’d joke. In a way, despite quick mutants’ naturally abrasive behaviour, Warren started to relax in his presence. Occasionally cracking a sharp joke or two, he even laughed, thus gaining more hospitable looks from others. In fact, having Maximoff and soon also Alex Summers under his wings, has provided him with a growing circle of charmed students. His tough boy facade was becoming more inviting with each passing day.

It was just another weekend, finally some time off both for the professors and the students. You were at the dining room, chatting with Ororo, laughing at some joke she just made.   
On a day like that one everyone was likely to be spending time with less efficiency, mostly clogging time with casual talking or doing stuff you normally wouldn’t have the time to do on a schoolday. And so you were, head finally out of the books, eating lunch in the common kitchen before meeting with other girls in the park by the mansion. Ororo became your best companion so naturally, you didn’t even question her presence by your side during the day. You liked her wit and how different she was from you. How her extroverted attitude would penetrate your rather reserved shell.  
You almost snorted through your nose and Warren, who’s just appeared in the doorway, couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his cheeks. Your smile was so soft and friendly. And your voice? Oh shit, he could envelope himself in it, and he would stop complaining about anything for the rest of his life.   
You scrunched your nose at the friend in front of you and shoved another spoonful of your food up your mouth, completely unaware of his dreamy eyes following your every move.

  
„ _Warren what the hell?! How much longer are we supposed to wait?_ ”

  
“ _Huh?_ ”

  
“ _Water, idiot. You said you’re gonna bring us something to drink. Jesus!_ ” Peter rolled his eyes helplessly and sprinted up to the fridge to get a chilled bottle of soda. 

  
It was clear for a while that something was bugging Warren. There were times where he didn’t feel physically present, and boys would have to snap him out of that state by throwing pieces of paper at him during lectures, or punch him in the ribs on training classes. Somehow the most perceptive among his friends, yet it took Peter a minute, and 3 cans of rapidly drunken grape soda, to realize why Warren disappeared for much longer than he had is intended to. And why the hell was he blushing?

  
“ _No fucking way._ ” He half whispered, half yelled making Ororo and few other students turn in their direction for a second. That threw Warren back to reality. Peter wiped his lips with the back of his hand and placed another empty can on clear, shiny counter. Warren glared at him.

  
“ _If you wanted it fast, then you should have ran up here by yourself dickhead. I’m not some speedy-goddamn-gonzalez okay?_ ”

  
“ _You’re so red! It’s adorable!_ ” Warren all of sudden felt the warmth radiating off his cheeks, which only made him blush more, now that Peter have exposed him aloud. His eyes were slanting, trying to figure out if you’ve heard them or not. He noticed that Ororo was back at whatever topic you were previously discussing, and he sighed in relief. But his mind went blank again when his shifty eyes locked with yours, making him unable to move. He caught a tiny smile forming in the corners of your lips and Peter swore the boy could melt any second.

  
“ _Alright, Alex is still waiting out there. We gotta get_ _going. Bye_ _Ororo, bye _____!_ ” Peter exclaimed waving to the girls, before pushing Warren out the room, and a building within 2 seconds, flipping few things with Warren’s wings in the process. But winged mutant was too enchanted to notice that.

  
Warren was still dizzy, his pupils blown wide and gaze absent.

  
“ _Hey, what’s with him again? And where is my drink?_ ” Alex came up to them, all sweaty from the extra training he decided to do, brows forming in a frown. Peter was laughing breathlessly.

  
“ _Dude, if you’ve only seen that!_ ”

  
Alex’s fingers in front of Warren’s face snapped him back to reality.

  
„ _What?_ ”

  
„ _Where were you even? Because sure as hell not here._ ”

  
Peter snorted again, earning a look from now tensed Warren.

  
“ _Okay okay! Don’t look at me like that, jeez. He got... lost._ ” Maximoff explained, hands raising in surrender. Warren was back to being his grumpy, neurotic self and Peter wouldn’t want to risk him blowing up. “ _... in _____’s eyes._ ”

  
Warren was already lashing out, fists clenched but the silver-headed boy was obviously faster, leaving Warren yet again on the losing end.

  
“ _Goddammit._ ” He swore under his breath, lips soon pressed together, fully aware of the fact that he could no longer hear him.

* * *

Within next months, and despite his strenuous efforts to deny it, Warren fell head over heels. Your looks and intellect turned out to be barely cherries on top of your other traits. He couldn’t even count all the situations where he’d seen you helping out some other student with their homework or organizing science projects. He’s grown attached to seeing you in the library, surrounded by books he wouldn’t even dare to understand. He could stare at you for hours, while you’d just flip dozens of pages frowning, way too engrossed in the reading to notice his broad frame curled on the sofa. By the time of few months he’s spent there, he could list all the birthmarks and freckles on your face. He’s learned the way daylight adorned your face as you rapidly turn pages of different encyclopaedic papers. Or how you’d bit your lip while reading in a booth in the opposite corner. And how strands of hair would overshadow your vision just for a moment, before you’d gently tuck them behind your ear.

  
It’s been like this a while - just occasional small talks, him asking to borrow your philosophy books, even though you knew he’d never really read them. You rarely had classes together, but when you did, he couldn’t focus on the subject too much. He was far more committed to perfecting the sketch of your profile while you talked out some upcoming projects with other student in the front row. Old habits of sitting in the far back, dying hard.

From time to time, he’d gain enough confidence to sit in with you at the library. He felt more comfortable without any witnesses around, nobody to gossip. He’d have never forgiven himself if he ruined your reputation with his bare presence.

  
” _Umm, hey _____._ ” you looked up from your history papers, a pen dangling dangerously from between your lips. You raised both eyebrows not really expecting anyone wanting something from you, especially after classes when everyone was anything but interested in scientific-related topics. 

  
Nevertheless you recognised the guy instantly. His frizzy hair and feathers were illuminated by warmth of late evening sunlight coming through the window, enlightening his face like a halo. The angel boy.

  
” _Hey._ ” you spoke up, sweet smile lighting up your face enough to make Warren’s head spin. And it almost did.

  
“ _I, well, uh. Sorry, you probably don’t remember me. We’re having literature, English and philosophy together and-_ “

  
” _I remember. Who wouldn’t remember you._ ” another gentle smile and Warren’s heart sped up. You remembered. But why, did he do something stupid now? Fuck. Of course. It was the wings again. “ _You’re always sitting in the back, alone. Haven’t seen you talking to anyone much._ ” He stayed still as if shot in the back, pretty sure that Maximoff would probably do that if ever given a chance. Especially now. Right in front of you. Like a goddamn cupid or some other romanticised bullshit. 

  
“ _Erm, well..._ ” he rubbed the column of his neck. “ _I don’t like to draw attention_.” 

  
“ _I can imagine that._ ” Your gaze wandered gently over the bones of his wings. You could only imagine the pain he went through to get the feathers back. “ _Your wings look great though. Make you look reliable._ "

  
” _I’ve never met a person who’d say that I look reliable._ ”

  
” _Maybe you just did._ ” You bit your lip, blushing at your very own and unexpected wave of confidence. As you looked down he bit his lip grinning like a madman. So it wasn’t that bad. He wasn’t that bad. A fully loaded train of thoughts was going around his head. _She’s smiling right? That’s good, maybe. No, no, don’t rush anything, yeah. Let’s keep it cool. Don’t fuck it up, don’t fuck it up, DON’T FUCK IT UP._

  
” _Anyway._ ” he let out a small huff. His neck was getting more and more red, along with the temperature under his velvety woollen sweater. What now? “I just wanted to say hi, cause I see you around here quite often. See you around then yeah?” He was already backing away.

  
” _Sure. And you can always sit by you know? I don’t bite._ ” He let out a nervous chuckle but straightened his posture nevertheless. What could go wrong now.

  
” _But I might._ ” His eyes were hazy as he held a book in one hand walking backwards to the door, nearly tripping over corner of a carpet. You snorted unable to stifle a laugh. Both at his words and sight. He was completely red by then, only waving a quick goodbye and shutting the door closed behind him, something you’ve learned was a habit of his whenever he was being extremely flustered. And he was only ever so flustered around you.


	4. The chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The feeling of abandonment was continuously present through his life, and maybe that’s why it was so tough for him to let go. Warren wasn’t and could never be as light hearted as Peter. He could act confidence in front of other students, hell, even in front of teachers. But you were always making him feel so vulnerable that it almost made him sick. Nobody would like a sappy, doe-eyed Worthington...
> 
> ”Warren?” Upon hearing your voice he froze in his tracks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [whispers] It's penultimate flashback chapter...

One could say, for a fact, that Warren looked extremely intimidating. With that nonchalant look, a bit buff posture and frown written all over his face for most of the time. And you felt intimidated too. By his a tad careless persona, by the way he walked - with such confidence that you could only wish you could achieve it one day. He was embodiment of that gloomy kind of charm, the one that attracts people in a heartbeat. Golden heart hidden behind uptight facade that is yet to be discovered. But you couldn’t simply overlook that his entire attitude has changed. It softened, as if someone polished his rough edges.

That certain someone, though you weren’t really aware of it, was _you_. He’d never admit that, not at loud, not around you. Hell, he wouldn’t even dare to ask you out. He was tongue-tied, utterly terrified that you’d surely reject him.

“ _She’s out of my league man, so bloody cool and intelligent. There’s no way she’d let me even hold her books on the way out of the class._ ”

“ _I agree about the out-of-league thing. You WISH you were half as cool and intelligent._ ” Teased Peter, earning a punch in the rib cage. The boys were sat on the bench in the park surrounding the mansion. Alex was chewing on his lip, Warren had his arms crossed over the chest and Peter was just classic Peter, sprawled wide across the seat and occupying half of the bench. This time however they were accompanied by Alexs’ younger brother Scott who - thanks to Peter, wasn’t allowed to sit, instead forced to crouch down on the concrete of the alley.

Once the boys had realized what was the reason behind Warren’s sudden change of attitude, he was forced to reveal the truth. He wouldn’t be able to deal with it on his own after all. But Alex was slowly getting tired of hearing Warren’s constant whining.

_“She suggested that she could use your company at the library right? You just overanalyze it too much.”_

_“I disagree!”_

_“Peter, please. We’re trying to get him out of his feathery shell, okay? I know you like to hassle him, but I swear it’s becoming pretty annoying.”_

Peter groaned and laid down again. Warren had a worried expression on his face. It didn’t even bother him when his silver-haired friend was being nasty to him. It was a thing you’d either had to get used to, or ignore, but at the moment he just stopped noticing. He wanted to make you notice him. His best self, how he wanted to be for you. During past months he talked to you like, 5 times maybe. Partially because he couldn’t say much, your proximity depriving him of words that’d even make any sense. He got interested in many subjects he never found entertaining, just because you were attending them.

He’d sit in the second to last row, and observe how you’d answer to all the questions or discuss debated topic. He signed up for literature and classic theatre classes, but never actively participated. And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to, he was just sure that he’d embarrass himself. And what a failure would that be to be ridiculed in front of you. A disaster. That’s how he was feeling about himself.

_“You need to talk to the chick more. If you’ll keep your mouth shut it’s not gonna end up anywhere near your bed, I’m telling you.”_

_“Not everything revolves around shagging Summers! She’s... she’s. Ugh. She’s special mate.”_

Warren leaned forward, resting his cheek on one of his balled hands.

_“Get your wings off my view, will you?”_

_“Uh, sorry._ ” He said, already getting up, suddenly very aware of how his mutation was forbidding him from feeling fully comfortable at all times. Another one of his issues with getting to know you. What if you hated his wings just as much as he did. He wouldn’t be able to handle that.

_“It’s fine, don’t be so touchy man. I didn’t tell you to piss off.”_

_“‘M sorry.”_

_“Aaand he’s apologizing again! Seriously, what the fuck man. Did someone replace you?”_ Peter exclaimed loudly sitting up, amazed expression on his face.

_“Warren you really need to chill. Get that stick you’re keeping inside out, cause she’ll never, EVER talk to you.”_

_“Where did you loose your confidence even?”_

Warren’s wings were hanging low off his shoulders which were also almost dangling now, making him look so much smaller, so powerless. He sighed.

_“Is he always like this?”_ Scott finally spoke up pointing at Angel who was now standing next to him.

_“No. Someone definitely replaced him. Her name is _____.”_

_“Oh shut up Maximoff! I’m over your damn bantering.”_ Warren suddenly tensed, ready to throw hands with his friend. _“I’m out. Speak ill of her as much as you please while I’m gone, but I swear I’ll kick your bloody arse if I ever hear anything about her in my presence.”_ He exclaimed in a raised tone before backing out the spot.

_“Come on! We’re trying to help you out!”_ But he flied up and out of their sight, just to save some time and his own patience.

* * *

Being himself without the constant feeling of not being enough creeping behind his back was incredibly hard, probably even harder than getting rid of his metal wings.

The feeling of abandonment was continuously present through his life, and maybe that’s why it was so tough for him to let go. Warren wasn’t and could never be as light hearted as Peter. He could act confidence in front of other students, hell, even in front of teachers. But you were always making him feel so vulnerable that it almost made him sick. Nobody would like a sappy, doe-eyed Worthington...

_”Warren?”_ Upon hearing your voice he froze in his tracks. How long has he been up here on the roof? Minutes? An hour? And _who_ told you he’d be here? _“Are you okay?”_

_”Uhm, yeah, yeah!”_ He turned around still facing his sneakers. He didn’t dare to look up at you, as if ashamed of something he hasn’t even done yet.

_“You sure?”_

_“Yeah. I was just... contemplating.”_

_“Well that’s nice.”_ You said shrugging. The roof was the most perfect spot for contemplating away from others. Sure, it was fun to hang around with other students, friends but everyone needs some time off. And despite all the visible changes in his behavior, you knew Warren well enough to realize that he needed his alone time more than others. _„Can I sit next to you?”_

_„S-sure!”_ He blurted out suddenly very aware of your presence.

You stepped close to the edge and slowly crouched down bringing your knees close to your chest. Warren was sat with his knees dangling off the edge. He tried to seem as casual as ever, but there was something off in his attitude.

He was feeling so stupid with all this. How much he wanted you to notice him trying, how much he was afraid of you possibly rejecting him. How fucking much he cared about you, about your opinion. How you were the only person for whom he wanted to change.

You were the dream person in his life he never thought he deserved, yet there you were, one next to the other, awkwardly waiting for someone to finally speak up. You cleared your throat.

_„If there’s any-”_

_„I wa- Fuck, _____ I’m sorry, I interrupted you.”_

_„No, no it’s fine! It’s my fault!”_

_„No, I just-”_

_„Warren, it’s fine. Please continue, I’d love to hear it.”_

_No you wouldn’t_ , he thought to himself.

_„Well, I-”_ He started turning his face back to you. And all of a sudden he was a goner. None of that mattered because you were actually there. You, just you. You and your curious eyes, your offering smile. _„I- damn it. I completely forgot what was on my mind, you know?”_

No he didn’t. You were on his mind. As always.

_„Seriously? Worthington we need to work on your short-term memory.”_ You teased chuckling.

You gazed at the park below. From up there it was far more alluring than back on the ground, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that’s something similar to what Warren was experiencing while flying. Everything was the same, yet in a way different, minor even. Maybe that’s why he fancied sitting on the roof so much. All problems seemed small and distant.

You glanced back at him but he’s turned away from you. He’s been distant lately. It’s not like you were _best friends_ or anything, but you really enjoyed his company and something was definitely off. You decided to break the silence.

_„Well, either way looks like I’ll need to say my thing first then.”_ You exclaim as casually as possible and sigh. _„I know you’re not into working in groups that much, but… um, there’s this international contest and I just thought, you know, that we could apply together-"_

_„W-why would yo- me?”_

_„Yeah why not.”_ You chuckled and his face softened slowly. _„You’re- you’re my friend, and I think we could only benefit from this. Of course if you don’t want to it’s totally fine!”_

_„No no! It sounds… cool!”_

_„It really does!”_ He gazed up at you and that glint in your eyes… As if your eyes sparkled with the most rare shade of joy mixed with excitement and, and- adoration? No, you were just keen on joining the project…right?

Warren scratched his neck nervously.

_„Well, I guess you’ll have to get me acquainted with everything.”_ You just nodded and he decided to play along. _„Cause you know, I’m kinda dumb. Bird brain and everything.”_

Your body trembled with soft laugh.

_„You’re not, silly. Birds are smart too. You’d know if you listened in biology class last month.”_ Hurriedly you moved to stand up, Warren’s eyes followed your every move. _"Wait for me in the library after classes tomorrow? I'll explain everything to you, and maybe we'll start planning already?"_

_"Sure!"_

You smiled again.

_"Great."_

In a way he was expecting you to laugh at him some more but your next words caught him off guard.

_„You’re much smarter than you think Warren. Don't sell yourself short and you’ll get further than most of us here. For real.”_

You finished the last sentence with the gentlest smile and winked before walking back to the ladder. Warren was in complete awe.

It took him a couple more seconds to pick the pieces together and then you were gone, behind the wall, possibly stepping down the hallway by then, but finally he’s realized that maybe, just maybe, you were right. And the fact itself of you believing in him? At that moment felt as if it was enough to keep him up in the sky for the rest of his life.

Angel gazed down at the park again. But he was smiling, brighter than ever before. Like the sunset that enfolds the day. Like the lamp lit in the corner of a dark room.

Like a promise. Of better days to come.

Sooner than he would have ever imagined.


	5. The breeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You pulled away, eyes sparkly as ever. Warren cleared his throat and reached out to rub his neck, the way he always did, but then for the first time he didn't. With cheeks flush pink he straightened his posture and reached for the doorknob inviting you in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long awaited continuation. There's drama coming.

„ _Stop it you idiot! You’re gonna make me fall!_ ” You shrieked holding onto Warren’s arms.

  
„ _Never princess._ ” 

  
His hold on you tightened and you lifted off. You couldn’t even look down you were so petrified. Both of the possibility of falling and the height. But being in Warren’s embrace felt nice, comforting. As if nothing could go wrong.

  
„ _You alright out there?_ ” Warren asked nudging your side gently and you slowly looked up. His eyes seemed to match the shade of sky, so bright and clear, with rays of sunshine streaking across the blue. For a second you thought you’ve seen your own reflection in them, like in the tile of the mirror. His excitement was mirroring your own. 

Suddenly he slowed down to a stop in midair with his wings spread wide and flapping to maintain altitude.  
You were staring. And blushing.

  
„ _Y-yeah, I’m scared of looking down though._ ”

„ _Then don’t. Look at me.”_ He smiled slightly as his cheeks turned pink. His arms wrapped around you a bit tighter. „ _You’re safe with me._ ”

„ _I know._ ” You beamed. Though the small jump of his Adam’s apple didn’t go unnoticed to you. 

„ _Shall we come down?”_

_„Yeah, I’d really like that actually. I think I prefer watching you from the ground._ ”

„ _Oh, so that’s how we’re talking now? Maybe dine me first._ ” Warren smirked and you were quick to look away. _„I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Always so down to Earth huh?_ ” He grinned and you scoffed a little offended.

  
_„It’s only fair if you’ve got head in the clouds. I’m bringing balance to this duo.”_

Over the past couple weeks you’ve gotten so close to each other that one could simply assume there’s something actually going on between you. Because in a way it was.  
Ever since the rooftop conversation you became inseparable. It was still nice to hang out with other friends, but if Warren was to choose between your bantering in the park and attempting to play ping pong with Peter, it had to be you. Warren could listen you talk about poetry and explain whatever Xavier meant by colonial expansion for hours. It was easy to forget about all the other things with you. Of course the project itself was a good chance to get to know each other more. And so you’ve found out about Warren’s hidden talent for drawing, his favourite bands, and his passion for classicism, especially sculpture.

_„Really? I mean, it makes sense but-”_

  
„ _What do you mean <<makes sense>>_?” Warren frowned and laughed dryly, as if someone just saw right through him. 

  
It was another evening in the park. The idea was to study in an open air but obviously you failed and again ended up talking life, both of you stretched out on a blanket and your paperwork.  
You only exhaled loudly.

  
_„Uh, you know. You kind of look like one of those yourself.”_

  
_„The sculptures?”_

  
„ _Don’t make me say it._ ” Warren shot you a glance.

  
„ _Come on, please! Tell me I look like a greek sculpture._ ” Warren teased and continued his exaggerated flexing. Of course he looked as if gods themselves carved him out of marble, but you were just going to feed his sweet vanity. „ _We both know the truth, just say it. Tell me I’m the Apollo to your Athena!_ ” You could've sworn you almost bugged your eyes out.

  
_„You crave validation so hard Worthington? Also, who told you I’m the Athena type?!”_

  
_„You’re the smart one. The smartest in fact.”_

  
„ _Don’t pander to me now. It’s flattering but…_ ” You responded lowering your voice. „ _… I always felt like that forest one._ ”

  
_„Artemis?”_

  
_„Is she the one with the arch? And animals? Alone in the woods? Then yeah, that one.”_

Warren exhaled and leaned back on the blanket. You could already feel the punch coming...

  
_„Makes sense.”_

  
„ _Wha-? Oh fuck you Warren! Playing my game against me now? Not fun._ ” But he only kept on laughing.

  
„ _It’s always fun if I’m doing it!_ ” You groaned and punched him in the ribcage lightly. „ _You like it! I know you do! And now you won’t be able to stop thinking about it, and you won’t be able to fall asleep cause you’ll keep thinking what that winged weirdo meant, and then you’ll call me, wake up everyone in the mansion cause you’re so damn desperate to know.”_

  
_„I hate how well you know me.”_

  
_„Love you too.”_

  
It still felt so odd to hear it from him. For both of you. It all still felt so fresh, so new and… unexpected. Cause after all you’ve heard about him you never thought you’d end up genuinely liking the guy. And then you became his closest friend, and you liked that too.

Warren was sweet and fun to be around. Once he’s opened up about his struggles and worries, once he’s learnt to trust you it became easier for him to loosen up. He felt safe in your presence. And he actually started noticing that slight change in his behaviour. How he came to the realization remained a mystery. Maybe it was just another day with you in the library, your quiet laugh at his pathetic joke, how he no longer cared if someone was sending him unpleasant looks when you were with him, your cute little notes you were leaving him in the books he borrowed from you and his doodles you were getting with the books in return.

Both notes and doodles on loose pieces of paper of course, you taught him to respect textbooks with all the knowledge they carry. Another thing you've taught him over time. Still, he wouldn’t have admitted that he’s gotten soft to anyone. Well, maybe you. Only you. It came so naturally, like a breath of fresh air and he took it, and he couldn’t get enough. Couldn’t get enough of you in his life.

So when you’ve finally wrapped up on your project he decided to do something to celebrate it, to thank you for everything. Out of all the students you were one of the only ones to make it before the deadline, and with all the time you’ve spent off-topic it was a huge success. Despite this you refused to organize a party, not yet, not before the results would come. And Warren didn’t complain, in fact he wanted to make it special.

  
_“A book?! As if she hasn’t got enough of those already…”_

  
_“Come on Ororo, help a guy out! What kind of book might she need?”_

  
Ororo let out a sigh and leaned back against the wall. They just left biology class during which Warren was so insistent on sitting with her that it was almost suspicious, until it wasn’t, cause his nagging mouth wouldn’t shut up about his idea to gift you with something.

  
“It’s not her birthday or anything, so what’s the rush?” Warren groaned in response, way too loud for his liking so he was quick to look around before he gave Ororo a proper response, this time quieter.

  
_“I just wanna give her something okay?”_

  
_“Okay, okay! Chill! It’s gotta be a book?”_

  
“ _I mean, she likes them, right. And I’m pretty sure she won’t mind having another one.”_ ” The reasoning was deeper than that though.

Warren wanted to give you a book, cause that was the thing that brought the two of you together. For all the books he’s borrowed, for all the books you’ve been reading together for your project, for the books you’ve recommended him and all the books you’ve given him and the ones he’s learnt to love thanks to you.   
Ororo frowned thinking.

  
_“What about mythology?”_

  
_“What?”_

  
_“Mythology Warren. She likes mythology doesn’t she? I’m pretty damn sure she was looking for something about mythology last month but she dropped the idea because of the project. You know, setting your priorities kinda thing.”_

  
Ah yes! You did talk about correlations between ancient cultures and art one of those days. How come he missed that part.

  
“ _You’re a genius ‘Ro!_ ” Warren whisper-yelled already backing out the hallway. “ _Just don’t say a word!_ ”  
Ororo mumbled something in return but Warren was too excited to listen. He was about to get you the best present in the whole universe. Or at least in Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.

* * *

How did Warren Kenneth Worthington persuade the librarian to order two copies of new edition of mythology encyclopedia instead of one was a mystery. But there he was, strolling down one of the alleyways in the park where you were supposed to meet before the party. The results came in today, but Professor insisted to present them during the celebration, just in case of someone failing. That way there’d be no winners, just everyone celebrating the journey. It was fair and in a way forced a prom-like occasion, only there was no actual dress code, just everyone dressing more elegantly and having fun.

It was 4 minutes past 7pm and Warren was starting to get nervous. It was silly, but all of a sudden he was feeling like all this wasn’t about the party anymore. He just wanted to see you, maybe finally ask you out after both of you’ve had a punch. Or two… But you would never be late, something must have happened. Maybe you went straight to the dance hall, maybe-

“ _Hi there Angel._ ” Warren turned around and there you were, walking up his way wearing that radiant smile of yours. “ _Looking dashing I see._ ”

Considering all the possible outcomes of this evening Warren has decided to wear something more fancy than his usual attire and in exchange he went for a tailored set - black shirt and suit pants, the only one he owned. He got them long time ago but somehow they still fitted him. He blamed his mutation for it, but it felt nice to know that despite all the changes in his life, both the exterior and inferior ones, there was still that part of him that was left unchanged. And he enjoyed that stability.

As for the outfit, he decided to keep the boots. Another constant he couldn’t let go of. Besides, he didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard, you’d probably think he was being a poser anyway. Better keep the loose facade, at least for the time being.

“ _Uh, you like it? Thought if we’re about to celebrate… something, I might as well dress up like it, y’know.”_ Your lips curled in a smile again.

“ _It’s nice. Very grown up mister Worthington._ ” Warren couldn’t help but roll his eyes a bit at your remark. But his whole face and neck was covered in a faint blush, the kind of blush that only accentuated his tiny freckles. You thought that it was cute, but Warren was glad you weren’t able to tell how fast his heartbeat has gotten.

Finally his attention shifted to you and fuck he was so doomed. It wasn’t like you’ve never dressed nicely, in fact, you were one of very few people who’s managed to look great both in school uniform and casual attire. It’s just that your hair, your face, _fuck_ , ALL of you... you just took his breath away.

“ _I- I mean, it’s nothing in comparison to you though._ ”

You exhaled with slight tension on the edge.

“ _It’s just clothes you know. And they’re not even mine._ ” You replied glancing down at your outfit. “ _I borrowed this from Jean, and those from Jubilee. Didn’t want anyone to think I always dress up like a nerd.”_

_“I’m not anyone.”_

You looked up at him and he was no longer blushing, the shade faded away into something more rich, more serious. It was like his lips have absorbed all the color and you just couldn’t stop focusing your attention on them. Even his usually bright eyes have gotten darker, like his pupils have blown up making space for a perfect reflection of your face in them. Gloomy and tempting.

Warren suddenly cleared his throat and you backed away bolted upon realizing how close you two were standing.

_“I, uh, I’ve got something for you. Just in case we didn’t win or something._ ” Oh, so that’s why he’s been keeping one hand behind his back the whole time. Wings were a perfect cover. What a lucky bastard.

_“Warren, you didn’t need to you.”_

_“But I wanted to!”_

_“It’s not fair, I didn’t buy you anything.”_

_“But you did give me so much. Let me just thank you for it._ ” He said leaning forward just a bit before a neatly wrapped package appeared in front of your eyes. Warren continued. “ _Project aside, I really owe you so much and I don’t think I’d be able to do all these things without your help. Anyway, you know I’m not good at talking. Not when you can do it better, so please_ _accept this as my gift. For the past, for what’s now._ ” _And for the future_ , he thought, but it stuck in his throat. No, that’d have been too sappy, over the top, pretendious.

_“What about the future? I need an insurance in case of your antics blowing up again. Unless you don’t want to hang out anymore now that we don’t have a scientific reason for it.”_

_“Oh fuck yes I want! I mean- Yeah! Of course._ ” Your laugh rang in his ears.

_“I’m liking this enthusiasm._ ” You smirked as Warren handed you the package. It was quite heavy, but not stone kind of heavy. It had some lightness to it, yet imitated a brick-like form. Definitely not something you could expect.

Or could you?

_“Is it a book?”_

_“Please say that you’re not Athena one more time and I’ll fucking explode.”_

_“It is a book!”_ You squealed excitedly and started rapidly unwrapping, careful not to tear the silver, shimmery paper. _“And just because I guessed correctly I’m not Athena. If anything I’m Pythia.”_

_“Yeah yeah._ ” Smartass. Warren sighed, but despite all the efforts to stay serious he just couldn’t stop smiling. Seeing you so joyous, so radiant and all blooming was making his heart grow. Yeah he could just love you, just like that, if only you’d let him.

_“You didn’t! You fucking maniac!”_

Warren wa suddenly pulled away from his thoughts by your loud groan. Fuck, not good.

_“What the- For fucks sake! How much?!”_

_“H- How much what?”_

_“Money! Or, I don’t know, gold… fucking silverware! And most importantly - how did you manage to get the first edition of 'New Larousse encyclopedia of mythology'?!”_

Warren sighed with relief.

_“I, uh… it’s a secret?”_

_“Come on! It was released like a week ago!”_

_“Nuh-uh, I’m not tellin’. Do you like it at least?”_

_“Like it? Warren I fucking love it! I thought I’m never going to get one of my own, and now you just come up to me like it’s no big deal.”_

And when you looked up at him he was wearing that dopey smile of his.

_“Cause it really isn’t a big deal. I just thought that’d you’d like it and-“_

You didn’t even let him finish as you jumped at him, wrapping your arms around his in a hug. Warren has never actually felt his heart stop, but this single moment was pretty close to it. And he felt silly, he felt stupid. So fucking in love with you that he couldn't even express it, too afraid that he's ruin it. That you'll disappear, like another memory.

With shaky fingers he reached to caress your cheek and you looked up.

_"There you are guys_!" Out of thin air appeared Peter, his neatly styled hair only bit ruined by the running. " _Smooch later, Xavier's about to present the results."_

Gently you pulled away, your cheeks were flush just a tiniest bit. Warren tried to keep his posture stiff, but your eyes kept meeting and you just couldn't stop smiling at that, which was making him smile too. 

_"Uhm, I guess we'll talk later then."_ Warren murmured and Peter rolled his eyes meaningly and muttered something before speeding off back to the mansion.

_"Yeah we better hurry up._ " You teased nudging his arm with your shoulder.

The walk back inside was rather awkward, but you couldn't quite decide why. The interruption sounded like a reasonable explanation, but thinking about what did Peter actually interrupt was even harder to grasp. Regardless, just before both of you entered the building you grabbed Warren by the arm and he stopped in his tracks confused.

_“Abut the earlier...Thank you War. Really. For everything."_

And just like that your soft lips planted the softest kiss on the corner of his lips. So close he had half a mind to turn his head ever so slightly and make it proper, yet it felt wrong, like he wasn't himself ready for it yet. As if this meant so much more than what he's ever wanted. Cause it was coming from you. Genuine, like a whisper, a promise.

You pulled away, eyes sparkly as ever. Warren cleared his throat and reached out to rub his neck, the way he always did, but then for the first time he didn't. With cheeks flush pink he straightened his posture and reached for the doorknob inviting you in.

_"Ma'am..."_

_"Sir._ " You bowed a little to play along. And fuck what anyone would say, he could wear that blush on his face for the rest of his life if it meant having you by his side, gentle and playful.

Only who could've guessed the future...


	6. The missing piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At some point Warren sneaked his hand around yours and you reciprocated by intertwining your fingers with his. Memories of the first time you held hands clouded your mind creating a wave of peace. Because with him everything seemed so easy, you felt as if nothing could crush you, not if he’s been through it and came back. You’ve come to meet the hell he’s been through via his words, the nightmares he’s allowed you to see. I made you appreciate your life more. Your life and him, his strength and will to fight back his demons.
> 
> His presence in your life seemed like that missing puzzle, and he very much felt the same way. But what if one day the image falls apart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it goes. The chapter that changes everything. Cause nothing can be perfectly fine for too long, innit?
> 
> Also, I have a little PSA:  
> Your support on this story means a world to me, it's really that dear to my heart that actually constructing it and letting it out and into the world was a challenge. But your enthusiasm and support makes it so much easier, so cheers to you :')
> 
> There's more coming. The future we've all been waiting for...

Upon entering the hall you notice that everyone has gathered near the podium, where Xavier was presenting the results. You and Warren looked at each other knowingly andapproached the scene. You were visibly tense, both of you worked so hard and now that the prize was within your reach you were afraid of disappointment. Not even your own, gods no, you were afraid that Warren would be disappointed. That all this time was wasted, that he’d think that all this was just a waste of time. That he’s wasted his time for pointless project, for you.

_“But before I ask the winners to join me on stage allow me to congratulate each and every participant. This incredible opportunity and your involvement means very much, especially for our community. And for us, your teachers, for me, you’re all winners. Give yourselves a round of applause.”_

You gazed up at Warren and he was already smiling softly at you. Cause Xavier, for once, was absolutely right, and no matter the results it was worth it.

And as if he knew that you were doubting yourself he gently took your hand in his. You heard him inhale shakily, but you couldn’t tell if the anxiety of waiting was the true reason. Maybe you didn’t want to know, maybe you just wanted him to hold your hand, just like that, with his fingers tracing encouraging traces on the back of your hand. It’s going to be fine.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Among the winning teams we have...”_

You took a deep breath and felt Warren’s grip on your hand tighten ever so little.

 _“... Jean Grey and Jubilation Lee! Applause for the ladies!_ ” You couldn’t help the smile that grew on your face with each name. You knew how hard they worked so hearing your friends cheer after their well-deserved win was making you happy too. Somewhere in the crowd you spotted Scott and Warren exchanging knowing glances. _“And now, the last but absolutely not least deserving team…_ ” All the clapping and cheering were ringing in your ears. And you could hardly see the front with everyone blocking your vision with their hands and enthusiastic jumping. You were grateful for Warren’s wings protecting you from being squished from the sides. “ ______ and Warren! Come up on the stage!_ ”

In a flash you were pulled back into the place. It seemed like milliseconds were stretched out to minutes. Warren’s googly eyes were at you shortly before his hold on your hand loosened. Though he didn’t even give you time to react because he was already pulling you into a hug while already twirling both of you, successfully dispersing the crowd.

Triumph. And yet, it felt so unexpected.

“ _Hey, hey! Are you okay princess?_ ” You didn’t realize you stopped blinking until your vision got blurry and suddenly Warrens’s concerned frown was mere inches from yours.

_“Y-yeah? Did we?”_

_“Win?_ ” You caught that glimpse of excitement in his eyes, the sparkle that made Warren... _Warren_. And you didn’t even need words anymore, but they came and suddenly everything had a totally different meaning. “ _Yes silly!We won! We won baby!”_

* * *

Your brain would race, it would run off to many different places, distant thoughts, memories and old experiences you weren’t able to describe in detail, except for those tiny scraps of words and images. Like frames of a film. Life’s moving so fast.

It’s only been a week since presenting of the results but the memory itself was still so vivid. But you could only see one face, the one in front of you, the one you were planning your travel with.

_“When are we leaving again?”_

You couldn’t help the involuntary roll of your eyes.

_“2 weeks Warren. We’re leaving in 2 weeks. Now, can we get back to plans? We need a schedule if we want to meet during the weekends.”_

Exaggerated sigh.

_“Couldn’t you just pick the same uni?”_

_“You’re not just asking me to choose Kensington over Brighton.”_

_“What if I am?”_

You shot him a glare but despite your efforts to play it off you didn’t miss the glint of sincerity in his eyes.

It was quite a challenge to keep your relationship the way it was after that evening in the park. And Warren was doing everything in his power to crack it. Break the established boundaries. Not that anyone has actually set them and obviously he didn’t mean to rush anything, he respected you far too much to do so. 

_“I didn’t even apply there, it would make no sense if I would do it now.”_

He perked up.

_“But you’re considering it!”_

_“Oh gods… you know what? I would, but just because of you. Kensington wasn’t even in my plans._ ” You said and glued your eyes back to the papers spread between your bodies on the bench. Luckily the day wasn’t too windy so you were able to use some of the afternoon sunand organize your leave in more pleasant conditions. “ _And… you’ll be my only friend out there…”_

The inevitable. Leaving familiar community for the sake of brand new experience. For the sake of possible personal growth. It was hard enough for you, but for Warren?

Since joining the mutant underground he’s been doing everything and nothing in particular, all at once. He didn’t belong back home, among his family members, but he didn’t belong on the streets or cage-fighting either. Until then it’s all been downs and illusory ups. And whether he initially had rejected the idea or not, he’s found his place. And he was about to leave it for a while, leave America. He was wondering if it was just his mind playing with him all over again, or was it really the end of an era. He was about to leave the past behind completely. And you wouldn't be there with him, not within his reach.

_“You know, I could always fly up to you. Like, Kensington during the day-“_

_“It’s 2 hours away. By car.”_

_“But I would stay the night! And we could spend the weekends by the sea. Studying!”_ Warren emphasized with a rise index finger. You smiled involuntarily. Classic Worthington. But when did he become so positive.

_“Where did the real Warren go? I’m pretty sure you’re a clone, only more upbeat.”_

You gazed up at his face and he was smiling. Only sadder.

 _“Hopefully I’m not an evil clone.”_ He spoke up searching for your hand. Gently he nudged it. “ _I’ve changed. I don’t want to be unhappy anymore. I kinda think I won’t be able to if I keep you around. You’re like… my lucky charm or something.”_

Another smile. And you were blushing a tiniest bit.

 _“The credit goes entirely to you War.”_ You exclaimed but your eyes remained glued to the bench, afraid that if you looked into those eyes one more time you’d actually break. Swallowing hard you straightened your posture. “ _Either way we’ve chosen different spots, but hopefully we’ll manage to meet sometime.”_ You faked a smile and Warren just nodded. He knew you better than to blindly believe in your optimism but he ran out of words to say.

Things will work out. Or you’ll make them work out. Somehow, someday.

* * *

Weeks run by so fast. Even faster than days. You were packed up, slightly dizzy after farewell bash that Peter has managed to organize together with your mutual friends, and almost ready to go.

Given the character of the universities both of you’ve chosen and the grim reality of life as a mutant, you were meant to fly a special airline. Warren would often jokingly brag about how he could literally fly there on his own if only Xavier wasn’t so insistent on paying for your flight. You were far more pragmatic. Your abilities didn’t include flying or such long-distance teleportation, and even if they did you wouldn’t take that risk. Of course Warren was only playing but deep down you had that tightening feeling that something was about to blow up. And it was getting tighter and tighter with each passing day…

“ _You up?_ ” You heard a muffled voice preceded by a knock from behind your door.

By then you were left with finishing off the cleaning up your dorm room. After all it was hard to tell when you’d be coming back. Or if you were coming back at all… Might as well leave it as ' _tabula rasa'_ as possible.

Another knock and you rushed to the door. Warren was biting his bottom lip in an attempt to contain his excitement, but his pose was saying something different. The old combat boots on his impatient heels were visibly polished for the occasion. You smirked at his choice of jacket though. It was that jean one with faux fur inside that you'd suggested him to buy once. Probably not that questionable choice considering London and its weather, where you were supposed to be landing. And for once he wasn’t wearing black pants but instead hardly ripped, simple jeans.

You were looking him up and down and he noticed it. Warren liked to joke that you were actually checking him out when you looked at him like that. Who knows, _maybe you did_.

“ _Gotta make an impression._ ” He said loud enough to bring your attention back to his face. He spread his arms and wings as if to emphasize his words.

“ _Uhm, and what kind of impression you wanted to make here?_ ” You voiced your concerns waving your hand around. Warren frowned.

“ _Uh… artistry? I tried okay! I do have some family there but it’s not like I know everything about European fashion inherently._ ”

You let out an audible snort. Sometimes you really thought that Warren could sense your fears and therefore would always show up with his inimitable humor and helplessly silly comments. Always there to cheer you up when you were sad. Like an actual angel.

“ _Anyway, I decided to check up on you, but looks like you’re ready to go._ ” Warren pointed at the set of luggage by the wall.

“ _Yyyeah._ ” You stated hesitantly gluing your eyes to the floor and he nudged your chin gently so you’d look up at him again.

“ _You sure? You know you can tell me if something’s wrong._ ”

“ _It’s just… I don’t know. A feeling._ ”

And he didn’t dig it up. Like he knew it was pointless, like he knew you wouldn’t be able to explain. Like you were more than just friends. So he just hugged you, just like you did back then in the park. You felt safe and for that brief moment in your life your worries have melted away, somewhere where they couldn’t reach you.

After drawn-out hug session with your friends and receiving much needed words of support from the Professor and other teachers you were good to go. Well, maybe not good, but fine. Xavier insisted on driving you to the airport along with McCoy. You could tell that it had something to do with your inner concerns, but Warren seemed oblivious to it. All the way to the airport you two barely talked, but at some point Warren sneaked his hand around yours and you reciprocated by intertwining your fingers with his. Memories of the first time you held hands clouded your mind creating a wave of peace. Because with him everything seemed so easy, you felt as if nothing could crush you, not if he’s been through it and came back. You’ve come to meet the hell he’s been through via his words, the nightmares he’s allowed you to see. It made you appreciate your life more. Your life and him, his strength and will to fight back his demons.

His presence in your life seemed like that missing puzzle, and he very much felt the same way. But what if one day the image falls apart?

The closer to the airport you were getting, the worse you felt. You didn’t feel sick, no, it was merely physical. It just felt as if something within you, something invisible, was being torn apart. Softly you let go of Warren’s hand, afraid that he could sense something and ask questions. You had to be brave, it was just a trip, an internship, _nothing permanent_ you kept repeating yourself, but it wasn’t just stress of the travel. Something was happening and you couldn’t control it. A distant sensation, yet so close to your own heart you could feel it tear open.

Once you got to the airport it became unbearable, so overwhelming you had to excuse yourself to the restroom. The tension was increasingly climbing up your back, tensing the muscles around your spine and neck. And the buzz ringing in your ears, like a stun that only kept on growing and blocking you from your surroundings.

You couldn’t even see the people throwing looks in your direction, you couldn’t even _see_ them, only omnipresent pain invisible to the naked eye.

“ ______, breathe._ ” Echo inside your ringing head. A soothing, distant voice. “ _I know, I know. Just breathe._ ”

Sharp inhale. Short exhale.

“ _Again, control your feelings. Breathe._ ”

Another sharp inhale, this time deeper. And exhale.

“ _Just like this, regain control. It’s fine. It will be fine._ ”

 _In long, out long_. The buzzing seemed to fade into white noise, and with each breath it moved further and further away. _Calm down, it’s fine. It will be fine._

The voice was getting closer to you, so close you could recognize it. As well as your surroundings. Cold tiles of restroom at the airport, empty stalls, three pairs eyes staring at you in shock. If only they could tell how shocked you were.

Soon enough another two figures rushed to you. You recognized one of the voices as Professor Xavier. The distant voice.

 _“It’s okay, breathe. You’re safe.”_ You blinked regaining your vision.

_“Wh-what happened?”_

_“That, you’ll have to figure out on your own.”_

* * *

_“Where’s _____?”_

When Xavier suddenly decided to leave them at the waiting area Warren was certain it had something to do with your disappearance. And they made him wait, like a fool, like he wasn’t dying inside unaware of what you must have gotten yourself into.

And so he was pacing around, concern all over his face. No words of wisdom coming from Jean could stop him from worrying. You weren’t there, something must have happened.

“ _She-“_

 _“She won’t be coming.”_ McCoy chimed in right behind Charles, but the elder mutant only nodded in agreement. It was already settled, there was nothing else to add. Neither for you nor for him. He was left with a bunch of vague explanations and words booming inside his head like echo.

_“Wha-? What do you mean she won’t be coming?”_


	7. The past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> „Hi.” He beams. And pants as he’s catching his breath.
> 
> Fuck. You look so beautiful and radiant. So… mature.   
> And you’re standing there not even sure how to start cause it’s been so long, and everything is so different now and you don’t know what to say, where to begin with…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time passes, some things change, some stay the way they were. And now we're entering the present chapters of life. Both Warren's, and yours.

” _Um, Mr Worthington? Professor?_ ” the kid stares at him wide-eyed, not sure what caused the sudden freeze of the man in front of him. Warren blinks a few times, his blue eyes shining underneath the dark frame of his glasses and he gazes down to meet puzzled expression of his student’s face.

“ _I’m sorry, I just- I think I got lost for a second._ ” friendly smile graces Warren’s features as the corners of his lips lift ever so slightly. „ _Could you- Just send me an email alright? Or come to me during my office hours?_ ” He stutters as he’s rapidly packing up his notes and books. The kid just nods in understanding. 

The lecture went good, not worse than on any other day at least. Obviously it was different with all the foreign teachers joining in, but that’s the price you pay as an expert in your field. Besides, it’s an honor for a school like Xavier’s to be able to host such a big conference within its walls. Over the years, it’s become so much more than an educational establishment for gifted youngsters. For Warren, personally and since the very beginning, it’s been a shelter, the place of growth.

Well, studying abroad also helped, it has shaped him as a professional, as a grownup. And now he’s back here, teaching, giving lectures, writing scientific atricles and sometimes even books in his spare time.

But right after the lecture, when the crowded audience started to thin, when his students gathered around the podium to congratulate him, when the tension he always carries during presentations was finally gone… that’s when he spotted a familiar face. A face he hasn’t seen in years, maybe even a decade. 

And then, all of sudden, it all fell into focus. That face, the smile that catches his attention almost immediately, and yet it takes his overloaded brain a moment to put the pieces together. Someone he haven’t seen in years, like a lost piece of memory. _It’s_ _you_. And you’re leaving, you’re gone in the crowd! He passes the students so quickly that he almost drops the briefcase he’s holding under his arm. In fact he wouldn’t even notice if it did. He can barely see straight as he storms through the auditorium. People move out his way momentarily, some call him names or whisper spite. But he’s like delirious, he cannot loose you, not again.

„Warren!” You greet him far too late, right before he bypasses a group of graduating class and crashes into you. He mumbles something, tries to apologize but fails and both of you burst out laughing. And it’s like the sound of your voice reaches his ears delayed and it almost knocks the air out of him. Cause it’s really you. And for the first time in years he’s fucking speechless, like it’s all a dream, like you’re here but not really. Like he's dreaming it.

„ _Hi._ ” He beams. And pants as he’s catching his breath.

Fuck. You look so beautiful and radiant. So… mature. 

And you’re standing there not even sure how to start cause it’s been so long, and everything is so different now and you don’t know what to say, where to begin with…

Your heart is racing, but so is his. You almost say something but it comes out as a sigh and it’s then that Warren seizes the opportunity and actually saves the day for both of you. 

„Cafeteria?”

„Cafeteria.”

The moment you parked outside the building was enough for you to bring back memories. But walking inside and through the hallways you once knew so well… it brought you both comfort but, obviously, also discomfort. The last time you’ve actually been here you were anxiously packing your belongings. After that incident at the airport you were left with no other option than to leave the life you’ve built at Xavier’s School behind and seek answers on your own. You never really got the chance to explain yourself, even if you craved it more than anything else in the world. And now you’re back, and he’s right here, as if nothing really changed since then, as if the life itself was playing with you all this time and all of the things that happened on the way were meant to lead you back here.

Once you arrive at the cafeteria you realize it’s filled to the brim so you decide on grabbing a coffee to go and a casual walk around the the park. You didn’t do much talking until now, partially because you couldn’t really chat comfortably with all the people around. Not about the important stuff at least.

Also you couldn’t help but notice all the curious looks you were getting, both from the students and the teachers. But it wasn’t like back then in your student days. You’ve gotten used to Warren stealing all the attention with his bare charisma but this time it hits different. It’s only been a couple of minutes but you can already tell that he’s different. In a good sense.

_„I- uh, wasn’t expecting to see you here, you know._ ” He starts off in an attempt to sound casual, but both of you know there’s a lot of unspoken history between you that’s ready to pop out any second. Tension, only muted. „ _After all this time._ ”

You swallow two more sips of your coffee as both of you continue walking in a slow pace. It’s now that you realize how absorbed you are by your own shoes, and literally anything that is not looking Warren in the face. 

It’s hard to find the right words. And in this very moment you don’t even think they exist. You feel like you should apologize, but how to apologize for something so painful you'd normally avoid talking about it? But god, he’s patient, he’s so freaking patient. Always so respectful, he doesn’t push the response out of you. You think he’s even more patient than you anticipated. Another side of him you’re only now discovering, but honestly it’s been so long, you couldn’t possibly blame yourself for not knowing. Or maybe you should?

When you reach an empty bench Warren suggests you two take a seat and you just nod. Once you’re seated you take a deep breath and finally speak up.

„ _I’m sorry I never-_ ” You stutter. _„I should’ve told you but I thought it’ll be better that way. I didn’t want to worry you, to take your mind off the internship, promise you something only to leave soon after._ ” You hear him sigh and feel his body shift so his back is leaning on the bench. But yet again you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

The possible rejection is probably the one thing that’s been keeping you away from him for so long. You’ve been postponing this conversation for years and you feel like he knows it.   
You feel like Warren is probably pissed, cause everything he knows about you now came from your friends or gossips, he has not heard a word from you since that day at the airport. In fact, he should be pissed. Xavier gave everyone vague explanation but _fuck_ , you were supposed to start brand new chapter of your lives and suddenly you were separated without any chances of communication. To say that he was worried would be an understatement. For weeks he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t focus, couldn’t think about anything but you. You've had so many plans, everything was finally coming together for both of you...

And maybe, just maybe, he would have talked you into a date. And many more next dates. 

And maybe he wanted you to be so much more than what you've already had but it all got ripped from his hands and till this very day he did not know why.

You take an audible breath in.

„ _I know I hurt you. But believe me, it was never my intention, I’ve lost control and I had to leave in order to get it back, to get myself back. Just so one day I could return_.” You gather all your courage and turn around to look at him. The disappointment almost pours out of his sitting pose. „ _If it even means anything now, I wanted to return the very day I left, just because of you.”_  
There’s a spark igniting inside him as you say it and he looks at you. And you look at him too, with the faintest shade of smile gracing your sun kissed cheeks. Your eyes are apologizing along as they meet his own. Full of hope and understanding. Like the old days.

And just like that it dawns to him how long it’s been, how everything has changed. How old he’s gotten...   
And how he would have dropped everything for you back then. Everything. Cause you were, in fact, his everything. His reason to get up earlier than usual, his sense of peace in moments of doubt, the brightest point of his day. And ever since that day on the roof when you reached out to him, twice as important. Cause despite his doubts, you to saw him as equal, as an intelligent young mind, full of ideas and potential that awaits to be released into the world. Something more than a killing machine, something more than a pretty face and a pair of wings. _A person_.

  
Shakily you reach for his hand and your eyes almost turn watery cause he smiles as hand gently closes over yours. He takes one more deep breath before he moves to sit closer to you and all the anxiousness melts away momentarily. And it’s like he knows you don’t want to talk through it, not yet at least, so you just sit there holding hands, breaking the ice ever so softly. Seconds pass before you lean your head against his arm. The tension in your doesn’t let go, not before you know he doesn’t mind, not before he gives you the permission you need. Maybe you just crossed the line, maybe he’s married, how could you know, he’s by far the most closeted person you know. Or… used to know. But he doesn’t move away, doesn’t flinch. Mentally you can finally exhale that one breath you’ve been holding in for so long. Soon after he lets out a long comfortable sigh as his fingers entwine with yours. _You’re okay. It’s okay._ Both of just sit there and smile, like teenagers in love. How silly, with all the actual teenagers around.

„ _I’m sorry._ ” He speaks all of sudden. „It’s not like you owe me anything. What happened is already the past and I’m glad you’re fine now. That you're here. That’s what matters.”

He means it. Thouroughly. But you can't let go of the brooding thoughts. They escape your mouth before you can catch them.

„ _Thank you Warren. I- I thought you’re going to hate me forever for what I did.”_

_„Whoah, whoah, whoah. First of all, today is not forever, second - maybe I do hate you.”_

You look up at him hesitantly but he’s serious just for a second before his face turns mischievous. The way you’ve always knew it.

_„What if I’m a pretty good actor, huh?_ ” He smiles and you’re done for, cause _it’s your Warren_ , it’s really him. With all the genuine words and thoughtfulness, and the playfulness, and the teasing.

You laugh wholeheartedly and he joins you. You can hear his heartbeat as he holds you close, hugging you, laughing with you. The wax of apology you poured onto this wound is still flexible but it hardens slowly, and eventually it will be strong enough, you know it will.  
Maybe, soon enough, you’ll replace it with something stronger, a bond. Maybe he will be the one to replace it.

But everything takes time. And now you have all the time in the world. Or so it seems.


	8. The night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warren can’t get a word out. Your presence is overwhelming on its own and here you are, saying all these things. He wants to thank you but it all takes time and he doesn’t feel like words could do justice this time. He needs you close but he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, he wants to make sure you’re staying first.
> 
> So he just reaches out to hold your hand and smiles with those glossy bright eyes of his.
> 
> It takes time, small steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After long months of silence... the story of broken love continues.

“ _It suits you._ ” Your voice is smooth in his ears but it startles him nevertheless. You giggle at the adorable little jump he does in the armchair before he finally looks up at you from the papers in front of him. Not before fixing his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose of course, and the action itself makes your heartbeat speed up.

It’s been a week since you came back to Xavier’s and until further notice - and with the invitation from the school’s administration - you got a comfortable small guest room. It almost felt like a dorm throwback at first, but different. More grownup with that hotel-like bedding, furniture and all that. Maybe you could stay here for some more time, maybe you’d like that just as much as you liked watching Warren do his magic during his classes.

“ _What?_ ” He asks genuinely concerned about what you meant and it makes you smile again.

“ _Professor Worthington._ ” You exclaim distinctly while slowly walking around his office to admire the frames hanging on the walls. “ _It really suits you. All of these do. The desk, all these certificates, the office itself and, and you know... you being here._ ” You stopped in front of his desk to glance down at him. There was a glimpse of benevolent suspense in your voice and he felt it. He knew what you truly meant by those words. Sometimes it would really dawn on him how lucky he got all these years ago, and this is one of those moments. The future he was now living in would be completely different if not- if not for… “ _And the glasses._ ”

“ _The glasses?_ ” You catch him off-guard.

“ _Yeah, they bring out your eyes._ ” You smile and he swears he could kiss you right now if you only allowed him to, damn the inevitable consequences of it. And now he’s blushing.

You missed him and that red warm shade at the back of his strong neck.

„ _Well, I do have to wear them at almost all times now. Cons of late night studying sessions._ ” Of course he doesn’t know how to accept a compliment. Especially from you. „ _But thank you._ ”

You smile, but none of you say anything after that. The dense silence hangs in the air.

Warren doesn’t really know how to behave yet. That confidence with which he welcomed you back into his life on that bench in the park is now covered by a layer of intimidation.

The night after your return he couldn’t sleep. He didn’t even try, in fact he just caught himself up in thinking about you, about the things you’ve said, how you made him feel - instantly awake, like he’s been sleep-walking for years.

He _loves_ his job, there’s no denying of that, but something about you made him feel like doing more, like he can do even better, like he wants to prove you how much progress he’s made over the years. He always wanted to impress you and maybe that’s why he got so far, cause even when you weren’t around he wanted to prove others - prove you, even if from afar - that he’s worth it. That you weren’t wrong about him, cause _fuck_ \- you’re never wrong, you could never be wrong.

So when you say that _it suits him_ he believes you. Even if it makes him feel more flustered thanever before, at any other compliment he’s ever received. And it makes him feel dauntless, bold.

„ _I- um, I was about to ask you earlier but I didn’t want to come off as a creep of some sort. How would you feel about a dinner?_ ”

Your brow twitches.

„ _Oh, so you wanna wine me and dine me now huh?_ ”

„ _Oh no, no, I mean-_ ”

„ _I’m joking, Worthington._ ” You add smiling but deep down you know you wouldn’t mind the mentioned scenario. It almost feels like you’ve had this kind of conversation before, a _deja vu_. You see he’sstill holding his breath. „ _I’d love to go with you for a dinner War._ ”

A relieved laugh, but it’s genuine.

„ _Great. How about tonight then?_ ”

„ _Oh man, you’re not playing…_ ”

„ _Have I ever?_ ” _Never with you_ , he wants too add but maybe it’s too early for that now. He’s already smug for saying that. Like the Warren you used to know. „ _There’s that nice new spot in the town nearby. Quiet, great pasta, good wine, mutant friendly. We could just talk, catch up._ ”

„ _Well, how could I decline after you touted it so well._ ” You joke again but his eyes already shine with excitement.

„ _Wait for me in the gardens at 7 then? By the pond?_ ”

„ _Deal._ ”

* * *

The restaurant is packed contrary to Warren’s expectations but you’re met with many familiar faces, so you assume it must be a popular place with the local mutant community. While he wasexchanging hellos with people you passed by, nervously looking for a secluded table, you grabbed him by the arm and led him outside. There were two small but empty tables by the corner and you settled for the one farther off. It was nice and cosy, yet it was giving you more space for intimate chatting and definitely more space for Warren’s wings.

He might have aged a bit, like everyone else obviously, but his wings seem even fluffier to you, softer. You have to stop yourself from touching the feathers when you walk next to him.

You have to stop yourself from wanting to touch _him_.

„ _So…_ ” He begins shortly after you ordered your respective meals. „ _How long are you staying?_ ”

And just like that your plan for the conversation is gone.

„ _uhh, I don’t really know to be honest. I worked in Detroit, even in Chicago for a while but you know… it’s hard to have a career when you’re a mutant sometimes._ ”

„ _Yeah, I get that._ ”

You know he does, better than anyone else probably.

„ _But you’re doing great here! I’m honestly so impressed, you have fantastic contact with your students._ ” You exclaim enthusiastically but he just chuckles mindlessly playing with a napkin.

„ _Oh please, they just know how to manipulate that’s all. And I let them! Maybe it’s because I’m getting old and soft, I don’t know…_ ”

He gazes up at your hand gently reaching to touch his own.

„ _I’m proud of you._ ”

„ _Come on _____, it’s-_ ”

„ _I mean it Warren. You accomplished so much._ ” You lower your voice in pity. „ _I know we were supposed to do it together and I failed you there but you can’t even imagine how happy I am that you kept going. I just want you to know that._ ”

Warren can’t get a word out. Your presence is overwhelming on its own and here you are, saying all these things. He wants to thank you but it all takes time and he doesn’t feel like words could do justice this time. He needs you close but he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, he wants to make sure you’re staying first.

So he just reaches out to hold your hand and smiles with those glossy bright eyes of his.

It takes time, small steps.

And time flies, soon enough it was 10pm. The food was great, you joked that Warren must be a regular here, but it sounded funnier in your head. You’re pretty sure it’s the wine, but well, he’s drinking with you… right?

„ _Are you actually trying to wine me Warren? I don’t see you drinking much._ ”

„ _Oh, well. You know I kinda quit drinking when I first arrived at Xavier’s. It was one of the rules and I wanted to stay, you made me want to stay._ ” It was meant to sound like a joke but the subject unveils facts you didn’t know about. You also don’t miss the change in his voice when he mentions you and you sober up slightly. „ _And so, when you left and I moved to Brighton, I sort of stopped caring about it. I was getting drunk every weekend, sometimes on weekdays. Everyone else did it too and I just didn’t feel like looking out for myself, until I’ve lost control. I realized it was turning me into the person I used to be once, that broken boy with broken wings, ribs and dreams. Somehow I graduated, I’m pretty sure Charles must have intervened, I barely remember the last months there but I did come back in one piece._ ” His voice is calm as he speaks, it’s clear that he’s already put in a lot of work to leave that part of his past behind and move on. And he really did, the position he’s reached is only proving it. „ _And so I decided to set it aside, the alcohol. I stopped drinking for 5 whole years. Now I drink occasionally, today for instance we’re celebrating so I had a glass, but that’s my limit._ ”

„ _Warren… I- that’s so great, I’m super proud of you._ ”

„ _Meh, it’s not a big thing. I just decided to no longer give away control, that’s all._ ”

You’re almost mad at him that he’s so nonchalant about it, cause you know it must have taken him a lot of courage and strength to actually fight the addiction he’s been dealing with for years prior to your first meeting. And he didn’t need anyone telling him about it, he didn’t need you to work on improving himself and it makes your heart grow.

Whenever he mentions the impact you’ve had on his life you want to push it away, deny it. Him admitting that he fought for himself by choice was bigger than anything you’ve gotten to know about him in the recent days.

„ _Personally I think it means more than all of the advices Maximoff has given to anyone, ever._ ” You tease and he smiles looking up at you. „ _But that’s my opinion y’know. And I’ll drink to that if you’ll allow me._ ”

He chuckles and it makes your knees buckle a bit. How come he’s ever more handsome after all the years you’ve spent apart.

„ _Be my guest, love._ ”

_Oh god_ , you think to yourself before drowning your drying throat in the chilly liquid. If he keeps acting like that you’ll just straight up ask him if he’s dating anyone. You noticed no ring, but maybe he’s just being secretive like that.

It’s midnight when he escorts you back to your guest room. The dinner went great, he told you about his time in U.K., you told him about the projects you've done along the way. You even got to gossip about your mutual friends a bit. About McCoy's political ambitions, Jubilee's business career and Ororo's _royally_ messed-up romantic life. Warren, did so much as to hint that he's _too busy_ _for all that mess_ and it made you hopeful, though you weren't entirely sure what for.

Now your head is buzzing and you’re genuinely grateful for his arm supporting you as you walk up the stairs and later when you pretty much bust into the apartment.

„ _Are you sure you can get into bed safely?_ ”

„ _Why? Wanna help me, huh?_ ”

He’s asking out of genuine concern but you manage to turn it upside down yet again making him chuckle at your playfulness.

Somehow you get rid of your shoes and jacket, but you could care less about the rest of your clothes. Warren picks up your discarded items and places them respectfully by the door and on an armchair. When he returns you’re already arranging the covers. He lets out a nervous sigh.

„ _I should be on my way so…_ ”

„ _No, no Warren, stay._ ” You call out and he’s close to letting out a chuckle again, cause of course you want him to stay, you’re drunk and… But when he looks at you it doesn’t feel like a drunken plea. You want him to stay, _really_. You want him by your side, here, now, if only he wants it too. „ _Please._ ”

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head, but more to himself than you, and smiles softly in your direction. It’s those tiny little lines on his cheeks when he smiles that melt your heart instantly. And you already know that he’s going to stay.


End file.
